100 Day Challenge: Discipline is the Foundation of My Growth

horse-ception

The following 100 days are dedicated to writing. Writing one word or a thousand. It is a personal journey and one in which the accountability lies in sharing it with you. I have long been gripped by the fear of what other people may think of me. I cast the perception that what I say or do or think is under criticism. I wish to release myself of that fear.

I have no expectations of the next 100 days except to show up and acknowledge the blank page.

The following is what is on my mind…


I want to be deep and reflect on life and draw some words together in a beautifully, poetic way. And then there is the truth that needs to be freed first,
I am tired. 

I am tired from long nights on my feet and anxious mornings desperate to make something profound of each day and falling short.

I am tired by the angst I feel within to define and be the key proponent of my happiness. I am tired of wanting and receiving and than wanting again, always searching instead of resting.

I am tired.

It is hard to be here in this chair right now and find value in meeting each finger to the keyboard. I am disappointed continually in myself, just when I think I found the sweet spot to discipline and self confidence, I let it slip. My negative brain demanding attention and taking it. 

I am tired.

I long to be anywhere but this chair. And I desperately want to only be in this chair. Writing and showing up for myself. For fighting the demons and finding a peace within self to enjoy my own company. Valid in every which way.


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